After a friend of mine found out that I like Eels, she…

After a friend of mine found out that I like Eels, she downloaded a torrent of the entire Eels discography.  That she did this kind of shocked me, because a) she had never really listened to them before, aside from a few songs, and b) because…well, because it’s the whole fucking discography!  I’d been going through and buying my way through all of the albums; not all at once, but by actually taking in an album before I bought another.  And today, I discover that she has more than 30 songs from Eels that I’ve never heard before!  I looked them up, and discovered that there are some live albums that I haven’t downloaded, but still, she has songs that aren’t on those live albums, either!

I think what’s bothering me so badly about this is that I’m a true fan of Eels.  The music really means something to me.  And then someone comes along, uncaring, wrenching the songs soullessly from the Internet in the fashion of anyone who doesn’t care.  It’s like when my other friend beat Half-Life 2 and its episodes in a matter of days, like nothing.  I actually kind of hated him.  Whenever this kind of thing happens, it feels like a corruption, like ruining something genuine.  It may be silly to have such feelings after playing a video game, but that’s how I felt.  I argue that it’s not silly to have such feelings of music.

Of course, now I’m searching for all of the songs I don’t have, and I plan to buy as many as I can.  Not immediately I won’t, but I will soon.

Edit: Oh yeah, and a few days ago, that haircut appointment: scheduled too early.  Couldn’t make it.  My hair is still way long, and that’s alright with me.

I have felt stress today, which is something that…

I have felt stress today, which is something that hasn’t happened since my junior year. This year, everything is really easy (except for the greater level of tolerance that I need that it would be nice to have), and stress is a concept I’ve almost forgotten. Except for preparing my art portfolio for review, not more than a week ago. And most recently, today, when I was told some of my grades for the marking period, and found out that the AP Art concentration I’ve chosen won’t be very easy to do at all. I have inadequate grades on my report card to look forward to, and there’s no looking forward to AP art class anymore. If I get accepted to the University of the Arts, then I don’t suppose the rest of my grades matter very much, as long as I pass. As for my concentration…I guess I’ll have to power through it. POWER.

There’s no one here for me. I greatly look forward to college, if I get into UArts; if I don’t then I don’t know. Even before college, I look forward to this summer.

This feeling of no point, of going on for no reason, is horrible…

I have a haircut appointment later today. In about …

I have a haircut appointment later today. In about 7 1/2 hours. I wish I had had it canceled. I don’t feel like waking up early for the sixth day in a row. It’s very annoying. Every day, I wake up tired as shit, unless I sleep ’til noon or so. It’s like an airplane. Falling asleep, the plane takes off, and soars through the air as I dream. It’s a peaceful, cloudy night, the deep dark blue and the silvery gray making quite a picture through the window. The flight goes on for hours, and it’s always beautiful and peaceful.

Then the airplane reaches its destination, and sometimes it has to make a few passes over the runway. Then finally it comes in, hitting the runway kinda funny, so the plane bounces a little. Since, during the day, it doesn’t seem to make a difference if I got a six hour sleep or an eight hour sleep, I’m staying up a bit. I’m tired right now, but I’m still going to stay up a bit.

So I had my portfolio review at UArts today…

So I had my portfolio review at UArts today.  I think it went well.  I was kind of anxious beforehand: not scared-anxious or nervous-anxious or excited-anxious, just anxious.  But once I met the woman who was reviewing my portfolio, I eased up.  It wasn’t as hard talking to her as I had feared it may be.  I now await contact from UArts around the middle of next week.

Those “do” lists I started making earlier in the week really helped when I was feeling disorganized.  I’ll be sure to do that again if the need arises.  I like making lists sometimes, just to organize my thoughts, whether those thoughts are ideas or things that I need to do in the close-to-immediate future.

And, earlier tonight, I made this.

D&D is a thing I’ve wanted to play…

D&D is a thing I’ve wanted to play in a more ideal way for a while now.  I’ve played, and that’s been hilarious fun, but that group sorta fell apart and became something that’s not quite the same, so I and some of my friends (Spiro, Justin, Zach) are making a group.  If you have the right people, D&D becomes one of the most entertaining experiences you can have.  And the stories are something you can actually regale your friends with.  Why, there was one time I was playing a half-orc barbarian character, and I cut off the head of a Sahuagin (a sort of fish-man), then ate its head and made a necklace out of its teeth.  I later made a necklace of the teeth of a princess we killed for some reason.  I still don’t know how that princess ended up dead.  I missed that part.  Those stories are fond memories of mine, and D&D is the creator of them.  I can only imagine the sorts of things that will happen once I and my friends begin playing.  I’m still carving bits of this world out on my own, making something original to play with instead of anything published.  Through the trial-and-error of previous attempts, I think I can make something playable this time.

Already the players have started telling the story, making their backstory, and from that creating something that I can hook them into the story with.  It’s already going great.